When I Fall In Love
I have always been so fascinated with the idea of love and falling in love. I remember as a little girl, dreaming about the day I would finally fall in love. Obsessing over the idea of having a man that adores me and loves me for who I truly am.
I am currently 19 years old, and I wonder, have I ever been in love?
I watch friends go in and out of countless relationships. I wake up some days, log onto social media, and scroll through photos of couple’s in love, and I wonder, when will I be in love?
The truth is, I’ve had multiple opportunities to be in love, but to be in love means to be vulnerable. To be in love means to sacrifice and love yourself enough to be able to love another being. I don’t take dating and falling in love easily; I want to be all in; I want to love with my whole heart, and if I am incapable of doing that, then why would I be selfish enough to fall in love?
I’ve talked to multiple guys who have wanted a relationship and have allowed me to fall in love; however, I am not selfish. I could easily say yes, go on dates, began to plan our future, and live happily ever after, that sounds magical, but is it realistic? I refuse to let myself confuse infatuation with love — two very very different things.
Many might read this and think that I’m too guarded, and to that I say, yes I might be, but in a world where men go through girls as if they mean nothing, being guarded is the better option.
People tell me that I’m way too picky, and I wholeheartedly agree.
There’s a negative stigma against being “too picky,” but why? Why is being picky considered a negative thing? I know what I want and what I don’t want in a man, and I choose to be picky. I choose to decide who I give my heart to and who I don’t. If being picky means I haven’t found love at 19 and maybe I won’t for another ten years, then that’s okay. I’d rather fall in love with a full heart, knowing that I chose this person and that I’m giving them my all.
You owe it not only to yourself but also to your future spouse. Don’t settle. You might find love at 19, you might find love at 35, or you might find love at 60, it doesn’t matter. Stop letting society put time limits on your life, live your life, and your love will come to you.
The truth is, I’ve never been in love. I’m sure six year old me would be disappointed to hear this. But, 19 year old me is mature enough to realize that I’m not ready to be in love. I love myself enough to know that I’m not willing to share my heart with another person and open up to the vulnerability of falling in love. There will come a time when I look back on this, and I remember that I chose not to settle, and I chose to wait to feel and feel with my whole heart truly. So, keep not settling.
